Life continues to imitate art in strange and disturbing ways. Whether you’re tired of talking about it or still reeling from Glenn Beck’s “I Have a Scheme” speech, you have to wonder just who is the power pulling the self-proclaimed Rodeo Clown’s incendiary strings. Palin. Bachmann. Armey. All very visibly on hand. Heck, the wackadoo from Minnesota’s still demanding a crowd recount. CBS objectively estimated 87,000. Palin offered 100, 000. The Beckster himself suggested a “modest guesstimate” of 500,000. But trigger happy Bachmann, she of the “armed and dangerous” ammo unloading and Joseph McCarthyesque vetting of fellow members of Congress, upped her own 1 million ballpark to 1.65 mil on a cray-cray radio show the other day. Go ahead, keep dreaming. And recounting if it makes you feel better.

But did anyone else notice John Hagee sitting in the front row of the stage right behind the Beckster? Yeah, that John Hagee, the fright wing preacher who went deep under the mainstream radar after stirring up controversy by merely endorsing John McCain’s 2008 presidential bid. So now he’s re-surfaced to offer advice, guidance and credibility to Beck??? Talk about a dubious face in the crowd. So after hijacking Martin Luther King’s Dream, with such a prominent backward thinking mentor we can expect Beck to next target women, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, gays. Okay, we’re not naive, we know Beck’s not acting alone. And I’m not saying Hagee’s the puppet master; he’s probably one among a cadre of conservative thinkers and power brokers using Beck’s cache and charisma to do their cynical bidding. But to display such a polarizing, high-profile figure, takes flaunting the fright wing agenda to an astonishing new level.

Get ready, kids, there’s gonna be a whole lotta cowering under that infamous blackboard before Goldline cashes out and sends Beck home.

And by the way if you haven’t seen Elia Kazan’s 1957 classic “A Face in the Crowd, ” it’s worth a rental. This prophetic film sheds so much light on our current low-information media saturated culture it’s uncanny. And it’s an entertaining film, too with a tour de force performance by Andy Griffith.

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Forget politics. Sarah Palin–and her clan–were born to star on reality TV. And that’s what they’re fixin’ to do. While filming in the small town of Homer, Sarachuda and her entourage happened upon a disgruntled voter. By the way: the so-called eye-roll is now in dispute, with those in the Palin camp denying any such intentional snark. Watch the video yourself and read more about that incident in my latest NJP video entry:
Educating Sarah: Palin Confronts Teacher Who Labeled Her ‘Worst Gov.’ | NEWS JUNKIE POST

Alaska’s Annie Oakley reportedly also caught grief from that other inexplicable “star” Kate Gosselin when the rhythmically challenged shrew took her eight kids on the road to Palin country for an episode of her reality fest. Insiders claim Kate had one of her signature snit fits when she realized the great outdoors doesn’t come with indoor plumbing!

Sarachuda’s less than fabulous week took another sour turn when former son-in-law-to-be Levi Johnston, Levi Johnston ( since they broke the engagement twice, I think the kid deserves the Mary Hartman, Mary Hartmen treatment) revealed he’s pitching yet another reality show. This one would have the prolific procreating Playgirl cover boy running for his ex-almost mama-in-law’s gig as mayor of Wasilla. Think of the cross-promotional ops.

Wonder if the quitter half-term Gov will appear. Or if Levi’s own mom, awaiting trial on drug charges will get her shot on the small screen before sashaying off the the big house.

Like I said, ditch politics and stick with TV. Really, if you promise to toss any and all presidential ambitions to the curb, America will watch your dopey shows.

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That sour racist rant never gets old with Limbag. On Tuesday’s show he questioned “Michele My Belle–” as he likes to call the First Lady and her speech to the NAACP. She called on Blacks to “intensive their efforts” in charitable efforts. Somehow Rush decoded this as a secret call to arms to The New Black Panther Party. Really, ditto heads it would be easier to just hit your heads against the wall. Less painful.

Speaking of racially charged rants, the anti-Obama brigade over at Fox News won’t be happy until they’ve whipped the country up into some sort of race war. Read more in my latest NJP entry, featuring a riveting, cringe-worthy video segment from Tuesday’s midday misinformation fest with Megyn Kelly.

VIDEO: Fox News Flip Out Over Black Panther Voter Case | NEWS JUNKIE POST

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Lindsay Lohan had one of those weeks. Not only did the entitled, drug-addled, oldest looking 24 year old starlet in Hollywood history get slammed with a 90 day jail sentence, followed by 90 more in lock-down drug rehab, her beleaguered lawyer finally tossed in the towel. Then Lilo–who had the audacity to show up in court pre-sentencing with a special message for the judge etched on her fingernails–started ranting on Twitter about her unfair “tortuous treatment” and compared herself to an Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning.

Hey, Lindsay, just like driving under the influence, tweeting while stoned can get you in trouble.

And the hits keep on coming. Thursday, Glenn Beck revealed that the two unhinged stars share the same manicurist. Watch the latest over-the-top performance from Lonesome Rhodes:

The tears, Glenn, you always get me with the tears. Really, no one can pour on the melodramatic waterworks like The Beckster. But it would be fun to watch Limbag or Bill O give it a try.

Okay, he’s right about the ratings–Fox News continues to control a dominate swath of the cable “news” audience. Bill O is #1, followed by Hannity and Beck. It’s a sorry, but verifiable stat. Still, as we all know, most people aren’t watching any cable news shows. “Dog the Bounty Hunter,” wrestling and “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” have more viewers. And that says just as much about the state of our culture as the Fox News ratings. And high ratings don’t always mean high quality. In fact, the inverse is frequently true. So while we can’t argue with the numbers, we can make a case against the mean-spirited, misinformed hysteria that Glenn Beck oozes nightly.

Surely Beck’s televised shenanigans warrant a stint behind bars. If ever a guy was guilty of low crimes and misdemeanors, it’s the Beckster.

Where’s Judge Judy when you need her?

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Yep, I’m still spending what can be vaguely called my summer vacation glued to HBO’s Summer Documentary Series. “Kevorkian” is a raw, unfiltered portrait of the maverick doc post-prison, reinventing himself as a long-shot congressional candidate. After doing a seven year prison stretch –and still on parole–Kevorkian can’t publicly advocate for doctor-assisted suicide. He gets around this restriction by becoming an advocate for the murky 9th Amendment–which provides a catch-all, decreeing that that “no other Amendment can take away rights that all citizens retain.” This–the good doctor asserts–includes the right to commit suicide.

While Al Pacino offered a compelling ( and I predicted Emmy-winning) performance in the HBO docudrama “You Don’t Know Jack, ” earlier this year, the real deal is extraordinary. Jack Kevorkian: brash, bold, outspoken is a one of a kind maverick,who history will surely paint with a controversial but heroic brush.

The mediums in Lily Dale, the oldest, largest spiritual community in the world, don’t believe in death. It’s “an illusion” or a “graduation to a higher realm”. Read more about a fascinating new documentary that explores this odd spiritual haven’s healing powers and hype in my latest NJP review:
‘Lily Dale’ Doc: Spirited Portrait of Spiritual Community | NEWS JUNKIE POST

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Okay, we know the misinforminators over at Fox News have nothing nice to say about Elena Kagan or her Supreme Court nomination. But this latest “liberal litmus test” is laughable even by Fox standards. Watch this:

Yep, everyone on the upper West Side of Manhattan is a big fat lib. But don’t take our word for it: ask the man… oops, I mean woman who walked down the street clad in an anti-Cheney t-shirt. “so there you have it.” What more evidence do you need?

Laugh until it hurts, kids. And boy this cultural stupidity really hurts.

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The gentleman from Washington scores a few points. And gains some friends.

“Ask yourself: when is the last time that Rush Limbaugh missed a meal.” Want fries with that toxic tongue, Rush?

Over at CNN, the former only game in town cable giant is going down that easy, sleazy street. Yep, just signed Eliot “the Luv Gov” Spitzer to co-host an 8 pm talk show. Guess the honchos figured to fight Bill O, they had to go for broke. Not a classy move and one I fear won’t solve the outlet’s woes. Read more in my NJP piece.
Spitzer’s Prize: CNN Takes Easy, Sleazy Way Into Ratings Race | NEWS JUNKIE POST

Please tweet, digg & comment. There are also a slew of other great writers and articles. So spend a little time on the site. No extra charge!

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It’s in the water. And if you live in one of the many places across the country with corporate-sanctioned contaminated water, it could be making you sick. The new doc, “Gasland,” follows the odyssey of Josh Fox as he bucks the corruption and mounts a campaign to alert citizens. A sort of gritty, no Hollywood-frills “Erin Brockovich,” the film which premieres on HBO tonight, is startling in its frankness and scope. Add it to “Fast Food Nation” as a primer on citizen self-education and awareness. For more check out my NJP review: Dirty Water: “Gasland” Scares Up Crude Consequences | NEWS JUNKIE POST

Speaking of docs, HBO is still running “For Neda,” the poignant profile of the young Iranian martyr. Read more in my NJP review: Neda’s Legacy: Film Captures Iranian Heroine | NEWS JUNKIE POST

QUICK CLICKS

Can’t believe they bumped off Creighton on “Treme.” The beloved, John Goodman character killed himself in the season finale of the acclaimed series. It’ll be hard to imagine the show without the larger-than-life character who offered so much of the show’s soul. But there is so much to savor. I’m ready for the second season. An instant classic.

I fell out of love, like, intrigue with TNT’s “Saving Grace” a long time ago. The plodding pace, the perennially preachy tone turned me off after oh, the first season. But for those still interested, the show’s finale is tonight. I may even pop by just to see how they wrap this baby up.

“Memphis Beat” another off-beat cop series debuting on TNT Tuesday at 10 pm, has potential… About a month to “Mad Men’s” July 25 season premiere. Not that I’m jonesing. Or counting down.

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Joe Barton is ready for his Reality TV moment. After the sorry Texas blowhard apologized to BP for having to pay for all the decades” worth of havoc it has wreaked on the Gulf Coast, the congressional fool apologized for the apology. Sort of. The guy was full of more contradictions than Kelly Bensimon, the cuckoo-for cocoa puffs-dingbat from “The Real Housewives of NYC.” Kelly managed to re-frame her blatant breakdown on Scary Island a “breakthrough” Maybe the “shakedown” Barton so infamously referred to was really a “shake-through.” Make that a shake threw, as in “after he stopped spewing his crude nonsense I threw my no-cal double chocolate shake in his elfin face.”

Sources tell RG Bravo has tapped Barton to star in a new show, “The Evil Reject Cookie Elves of Capitol Hill.” Meanwhile, Joe, Ernie Keebler called; he wants his Fudge Swirl recipe back.

By the way, no one parodies the “Housewife” franchise quite like Jimmy Fallon and his late night crew. Except, of course, the ladies themselves. Check this out:

Okay, so who’s “Lydia?” Caroline Manzo or Harvey Fierstein. Could she be their love child?

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At least the “small people” can laugh at the BP buffoons and the GOP apologists hellbent on protecting the incompetent, insensitive greed machine. If Joe Barton didn’t exist, Jon Stewart would have invented him. And then he could crumple him up and toss him in the old bit bin. For now, let’s hope the Repubs do the right thing and toss this sorry excuse for a congressman out of his committee leadership gig.

Wish Barton would just hit the road with those other two useless Joes Lieberman and Wilson. As 3 Joes Who Gotta Go they could sing the same sorry songs.

Couldn’t shake me down to buy a ticket to that show.

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Here’s the difference between Fox News and MSNBC: the former is a fright wing propaganda machine that will say anything to discredit President Obama–even defend BP–the latter is a a legit, left leaning network that will call out the President and Democrats. This montage–courtesy of Media matters for America and culled from recent Fox News misinformation fests–shows the network sinking faster and deeper than the disastrous Gulf Spill.

Wonder when Joe Barton, the clueless GOP congressman who had the audacity to call the BP $20 billion dollar reparation fund a “Shakedown” will sign on as a Faux News analyst. Maybe when the voters kick his sorry ass to the curb.

In case you hadn’t heard, all the “small people,” as the tone-deaf BP chair calls everyone suffering in the region–and by extension all concerned citizens– are not buying the spin. The more they talk, the deeper they dig their holes. Their crooked karma would be amusing if it wasn’t so tragic. If only.

Read more in my NJP piece: Fox Sinks Into BP Hole; MSNBC Rises | NEWS JUNKIE POST
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Pat Robertson had been floating so below the cultural radar, I almost forgot about his outrageous comments about Haiti. While his latest bout of sexist foot-in-mouth disease is not as serious a breach of human decency, it is another startling example of the bigoted preacher’s out-dated and dangerous views.

In some kind of mail-bag segment, his “700 Club” co-host reads a viewer letter, seeking advice about a hubby with an annoying wandering eye. Watch the crazy exchange and ridiculous advice Robertson doles out.

The thought bubble over the co-host’s head: “Dear God, why can’t you get me a gig on ‘Inside Edition’ or the local news?” So sorry, Dear Heart, but I think it’s time for the geezer preacher to pack it in. Enough of an affirmation for your long overdo retirement, Pat?

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Update: Read about the night’s hits and misses in my NJP review. Oh, not that I’m bragging, but my predictions were money!
“Memphis,” “Red” Big Winners at Tony Awards | NEWS JUNKIE POST

Broadway shines tonight as the 64 annual Tony Awards broadcast live from NYC’s famed Radio City Music Hall on CBS at 8 pm. The show is expected to be filled with surprises. Most years even the Great White Way’s casual observers could phone in the winners. Not so much this year. Looks like a toss up for both Best Play–probably between “Red” and “Next fall“–the only two nominees still up and running– and Best musical with “Memphis,” “Fela,” “American Idiot” and “Million Dollar Quartet” all in tight contention. If I had to predict, I’d say “Memphis” will edge out, though I’m rooting for “American Idiot.”

You know I’m pulling for “Next Fall,” but suspect “Red” will inch the little play that could out. It’s a play about artist Mark Rothko and evolves into an elegant rumination on art. “Fall” is a gay love story. The tony Tony establishment usually goes for the artsy treatise.

Despite perennially low ratings, The Tonys are usually worth the watch even if you haven’t seen many or any of the shows. The production quality generally surpasses all the other awards extravaganzas. Hey, theatre people know how to put on a show!

It will be hard to top last year’s host Neil Patrick Harris, but Sean Hayes ( also nominated for his role in “Promises, Promises“) should be up to the task.

Klein’s Cable Cloud 9
For comedy fans, Robert Klein is back with his ninth HBO special. And the sharp political and observational comic doesn’t disappoint. Read more–and see a preview via Keith Olbermann’s interview–in my NJP piece. Robert Klein’s “Unfair & Unbalanced” Countdown | NEWS JUNKIE POST

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It’s funny just how many people covet fame. I mean really go after it. Whatever the cost. Just flick through the never-ending roster of junk food Reality TV shows. And yet, once they attain those prized Warholian minutes so many–both the really worthy and the merely notorious– run from the paparazzi. The latest star vs. paparazzo incident involved Jodie Foster and some 17 year old aggressive kid with a camera. The young photog claims Jodie poked him. The elusive star was with her young kids and wanted to flee the glare of the shutterbug’s intrusion. No word on the “criminal” or civil investigations.

And Lady Gaga–clad in a blingy bikini no less–flipped off photogs at a Mets game yesterday. Talk about ambivalent attention-seeking behavior. Gag-o-rama, Gaga!

These days anyone with a camera phone can be a paparazzo. But in the heyday of the celebresphere, it was a trippy and sometimes treacherous endeavor. A great new documentary, “Smash His Camera” spotlights one of the original American celeb photogs, Ron Galella. Read more in my NJP review. And you can catch the film, which fetched a Best Director Award for Leon Gast at this year’s Sundance Festival, on HBO this month.

New Documentary “Smash His Camera” Takes Shot At Paparazzi, Fame | NEWS JUNKIE POST

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Just watch. He’s genius.

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Another “Golden Girl” has left us. Rue McClanahan, the classy comedienne who vexed millions as aging Southern vixen, Blanche Devereaux passed away at 76. An accomplished stage actress, Rue made her way onto the small screen in the ’70’s opposite her “Golden Girls” co-star Bea Arthur in “Maude,” as Maude’s neighbor and pal, the ditsy Vivian. She later landed on “Mama’s Family,” where Betty White, now the only surviving “Girl” also appeared. Her official Golden run started in 1985 and ran through 1992, but as fans know the “Golden Girls” is always on TV somewhere.

Only a year after saying goodbye to Bea Arthur, it’s sad to have to bid another classy lady farewell. Rue McClanahan, R.I.P. And thank you for being a friend.

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Elmo. Bob Dole. Fergie. What do these three cultural icons have in common? A peculiar penchant for referring to themselves in the third person.

Sarah Ferguson, the trendy, big time spendy Duchess of York confessed–or spun–all to America’s de facto therapist, Oprah Winfrey. Just why, oh, why did Fergie try to sell access to ex-hubby Prince Andrew, the British business envoy and an heir to the throne? Needed cash. Obviously. But she started spinning pretty early, claiming at first the original asking price 38K was for a friend in desperate straights. Then it was the booze and exhaustion that fueled Fergie to up the ante, impulsively asking for another 500K. Okay, everyone knows about Fergie’s deluxe debt problems.

Not too many of us were aware of her deep problems or crafty ability to spin herself some sympathy votes. About four minutes in–right after watching the sting tape and sighing, “I feel sorry for her, you knew we were in for a real show. Yep, Fergie in a trippy, bordering on creepy way often referred to herself in the third person, talking about “poor little Sarah” losing herself, etc. She rattled off a litany of losses that capsized her personal–and presumably financial–foundation to its core. Diana, her mother, her best friend all dead, leaving her adrift in a royal sea of bad choices and uncontrollable spending.

Wow. I am sympathetic to people with psychological issues. But such breakdowns are best dealt with in the privacy of a therapist’s office. And though we’ve been listening to people–famous or otherwise–confess all in a cathartic attempt to save face, image or even soul on shows from “Donahue” to “Dr. Phil“, it doesn’t make it healthy for either the participant or the audience.

For what it’s worth, Fergie fared better than Reille Hunter on the “Oprah” hot seat. At least she showed what appeared to be genuine contrition. And with all her faults, gaffes and public displays of foolery, Fergie is affable. And such likability usually translates into public forgiveness. And that can lead to lucrative book projects and speaking engagements.

And if all else fails, Fergie would be a natural for Reality TV. Move over Countess, there’s a new “Real Housewife of NYC” in town. Those words should send the Bravo brain trust into multiple orgasms.

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Gary Coleman, the beloved child actor who starred in the hit show “Different Strokes” died at 42. We’ve all read some of those tabloid stories about his battles with his parents, his myriad medical and financial woes, and most recently his marital issues. But to so many he will remain a pop culture fixture, a true TV icon. Can’t you hear him with all that feisty irreverence approaching the Pearly gates: “What you talkin’ ’bout, God?”

R.I.P. Gary. Rest well.

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The “Say No” Repubs are threatening to put the kibosh on unemployment extensions again. Short-sighted, of course, as those bennies could come in handy when some of them hit the pavement next year. Yeah, yeah, I know all about the ensuing GOP upswing. Guess, I’m just not buying it. I also don’t see how folks –even Republicans–can believe some of these low to no government types blaming Obama for the Gulf oil spill. Now they want the government to take control. Convenient, don’t you think?

Anyway, financial stress is not just an American malady. The price of excess has caught up with the spendy trendy Duchess of York. The Royals are surely spinning again over the latest scandal that finds Fergie caught on tape in a News of the World sting promising entree to her ex-hubby Prince Andrew, Britain’s business envoy. Doesn’t look good, of course but while it’s tawdry, apparently nothing illegal about such a cash for cache deal. While she remains mum, Andy’s mum the Queen is no doubt miffed and may strip Fergie of her title. Let’s hope not. I think the Duchess should move to NYC and sign on for a reality show. She’d fit in as smoothly as clotted cream at high tea with that spoiled and wacky bunch on “The Real Housewives of NYC.” Move over, Luann. A Duchess–even a dethroned one–trumps a divorced Countess. Even one with a tacky disco rap tune.

As for our obsession with crowing celebrity royalty on this side of the Pond,”American Idol” wraps up tonight with a two hour finale that should crown Crystal Bowersox. The early favorite, she had been faltering in the last few weeks. Looked like it was Lee DeWyze’s title to lose. And sorry to say ( I am a Lee booster as well as a Crystal fan) but he did just that. And Crystal nailed all three of her songs. She wants it big time. She’s ready. And he sort of choked. Still he’s got a great, soulful rock voice and low-key presence, and will surely get to leave the paint fumes behind and score a record deal. But Crystal should win the well-deserved title. Not that it’s done all that much for Reuben, Fantasia or Taylor Hicks. And not winning didn’t hurt Daughtry, Jennifer Hudson or Adam Lambert.

I know, I know, for someone who said she wasn’t getting involved, I sure sound invested. By the way, for fans of “Watching TV with Mom,” she’s backing out of the finale. “What do I need with two hours of noise? You watch it, then call me up and say ‘Crystal won.’ I don’t need to waste my time with music I’m not crazy about and all that crazy hair and clothes.” Okay, Mom. “And you said they get makeovers? When? When they’re not on anymore. What good will that do me?” Well, it is a fair question, I guess.

Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll watch, so you won’t have to.

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The closest thing I came to doing a prison stretch was being hauled off during a radio charity “Jail ‘n’ Bail.” That pretty much consisted of sitting around a cozy restaurant downing Diet Cokes while dialing up friends and co-workers for the “bail money” that would benefit the March of Dimes. Did get to have my mug shot taken with a old-timey black and white striped jailbird uniform draped over my clothes.

After reading Piper Kerman’s moving and funny memoir, “Orange is the New Black,” I hope to continue to elude the authorities. Doing time–even at a minimum security federal camp-is as Piper’s pal Pop says–”nothin’ nice.” Read more in my latest NJP review. And you’ve got to read this book. While I have a few literary quibbles with Piper’s back story and the shadowy cast of her “outside” supporting cast ( sorry, but are those in-laws for real?), the story of Piper’s prison journey and the women she meets is told with such love, compassion and humor. It’s a true tour de force. Read it and tell me what you think.

Postcards From America’s Abyss: Brave, Funny Prison Memoir Sheds Light On Broken System | NEWS JUNKIE POST

Wonder if Bernie Kerrick, NYC’s disgraced former top cop–who just surrendered to a federal facility in Maryland–took it along as bedtime reading.

POP-O-RAMA

Speaking of doing time–or avoiding it–Woody Allen says “Roman Polanski’s paid his dues.” Sorry, but isn’t that a little like Oprah saying Kirstie Alley’s lost enough weight? Come on, people, if Polanksi wasn’t a famous director would there really be any debate? Do the time, Roman. Get it over with, and get on with your life. And Woody, you might want to stay out of it. Heard from Mia lately?

The blogs are abuzz: tonight’s “Judges’ Choice” on “Idol” and there’s talk of Simon picking a tough tune for Lee so his fave Crystal will win. Hmm.. could backfire, Tune in. I always said it would come down to Lee and Crystal. And front-runner’s often fall. Remember last year, Adam Lambert was the one to beat. And Kris Allen did just that. Year before, Archie was the favorite. Who won? David Cook. Just sayin’. Don’t crown Crystal yet. BTW: in case you’re keeping score, I’d be happy either way. They’re both good. Casey, too. They’ve got a more talented final three than they’ve had in years. Guess that explains the tumbling ratings!

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